Workout of the Day:
“CrossFit Total”
Three attempts for one rep max of each of the following:
Back Squat
Shoulder Press
Deadlift
(Compare total to February 12, 2009.)
Maybe It’s Not Your Jeans; It’s Your Perspective
Written by Dani Dufrene
A couple months ago I set out to accomplish a goal. I wanted to go
from #109 to #120. I believed that with a little extra mass I would be
able to lift heavier weights and recover better from my work outs.
Although I have not yet hit #120, I did reach #116 and have felt a
remarkable difference. That is not the point of this post, but
important to note for the story to come. So that is 7lbs in
approximately 8 weeks. Seven pounds may not seem like much for some,
but my frame is rather small and all 7 of those pounds are very
noticeable to me. They seem to have found a home in my quads, glutes
and hamstrings. Not surprising given the CrossFit regimen. Now to my
story…
A few weeks ago I went shopping with a girlfriend. The primary goal
was to find some jeans because I only had one pair of pants that fit
me. What I came to discover on that shopping adventure is that my body
has changed drastically. The cap sleeved, frilly shirts that once
looked so cute now looked ridiculous. And locating a pair of jeans
that fit both in my thighs and my waist was not possible. I was very
grateful on that day for my amazing girlfriend who has a healthy
perspective on her own body image and had been down this road before.
After several failed attempts at finding a pair of jeans, she simply
suggested that I find a pair that fit my thighs and have them altered
to fit in the waist. As for the cap sleeved frilly shirt, well she
said say goodbye and find a new style. Her point was simple, it wasn’t
the jeans; it was my perspective. My body had changed and rather than
fight it I needed to embrace it and adapt. So I did. I located shirts
that didn’t make me feel like the Hulk or Linda Hamilton and I purged
my closet of anything that no longer flattered my body in its current
state.
If I had gained 7lbs because I sat on the couch gorging myself, that
would be a completely different story. Not the case. The jeans didn’t
fit me because I had gained muscle mass in my legs and my booty. At
that moment I had to make a decision, I could accept the fact that my
body had changed and alter my attire or sacrifice my strength and
muscle so I could fit into a certain pair of jeans or rock a frilly
shirt. To me the choice is a no brainer. I understand that isn’t the
case for many women, but I challenge you to challenge your
perspective.
I write this post because I know that women torture
themselves on a daily basis about their bodies. If you are eating
well, CrossFitting regularly and being active and your quads happen to
get bigger or your booty grows, I challenge you to embrace it. Adapt
your clothing, not your lifestyle. Don’t sacrifice your health and
strength for vanity. You can have both. You can be strong and
beautiful. You just have to change your perspective. Beautiful might
look a little different than it once did.
Tags: CF Total, Motivation, Testimonials
Dani, thanks for your intelligent words. I’m going to link this post up on the CFNYC blog.
Some of us are TRYING to make our booties grow! Big booty = power
^
||
trying to eliminate the lumps that could prevent booty growth.
Dani – I’ll be posting this to our blog. GREAT insight and words…
John
Great article, I’ll put it up on our site.
This keeps coming up as skinny ladies come in and ‘grow an ass’ as we like to call it. Sometimes we have to deal with sentiments like “but I don’t fit in to that size 2 at the Gap anymore”. As you mentioned, it usually comes down to discussing and managing perspectives.
I bet this is true for a bunch of guys, too – I’ve been trying to find jeans lately that will accommodate my shrinking waistline (thank you, Paleo) and expanding legs (thank you, squats) – I had to go with the most “relaxed fit” I could find, two waist sizes smaller than my last pair. Not that I’m complaining, mind you…
What I found in my search was that a lot of companies’ jeans (Old Navy/Gap/Banana Republic, Eddie Bauer, etc.) seem to be cut for today’s “standard” – skinny fat (or just fat) people who obviously don’t deadlift. The CrossFit profile, once again, defies convention… and hooray for that!
Oh, and in regards to:
You said it, Dani!
Excellent article. Good points worth spending time to think about and apply. Well said Dani.
Great words Dani! I’ll be using this on my blog …
“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”
- William Arthur Ward
Great Job Dani!
[...] “I write this post because I know that women torture themselves on a daily basis about their bodies. If you are eating well, CrossFitting regularly and being active and your quads happen to get bigger or your booty grows, I challenge you to embrace it. Adapt your clothing, not your lifestyle. Don’t sacrifice your health and strength for vanity…..” Read more here. [...]
Dani, you are beautiful at ANY size!
You have no idea how much you inspire me every day. Seeing you push those heavy weights around with such determination….it makes me happy.
And if we can figure out this person-to-person weight-transfer thing, I’ve got some extra thigh, stomach and back fat with your name on it!
I love this post Dani! It’s exactly what I was recently struggling with. About 3 months ago, which is the same time that my husband and I started crossfit, we bought a scale. Before starting crossfit,I was at a weight that I had been at for about 2 years. One that I was completely comfortable with. Throughout the first couple months of crossfitting I would weigh myself everyday. I was always around the same weight, give or take a little. I decided that that was probably not healthy for me to do so I thought I would give it a rest.
After about a week, I finally gave in and stepped on the scale. The results completely shocked me. I weigh more today than I have in 2 years! (I lost a little weight after my senior season of soccer was over) I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband if it looked like I had gained weight. He immediately answered (correctly) and said “No sweety, you are gaining muscle.” “You look great.” I then thought that maybe I am just having a “heavy” day. Tomorrow it will go down to what it normally is.
Sure enough, the next day, my weight was yet more than what it was the previous day! I then looked in the mirror and thought “I feel good, so why am I freaking out?”
It was then that I really had to think about what I wanted. Do I want to be a number on a scale, or do I want to be stronger and leaner, regardless of what that number says? I opted for the latter.
I now attribute my weight gain to the fact that I am lifting more than I ever have and consistently pushing myself on the metcons. As a result of my weight gain, my shirts that used to fit me perfectly are now a struggle to fit into. My shoulders and arms are bulging at the seams! Also, the jeans that used to have a little snuggle room in my quad area are now tight as ever. BUT, I feel great. And that all that matters.
Dani, thank you for being such a great coach and leader for the women of crossfit. You are an inspiration to me and countless others!
Excellent story!!
Dani, I spent hours in the mall looking for new pants, it was frustrating. I tried on no less than 40 pairs of jeans in 3 trips and found 1 pair. I recently found out I am not the only one who gets to enjoy hours and hours of muzak played on the speakers at Macys
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOSES!!! I am so happy you are at CFI, you are doing an amazing job. Hope you have a great day!
Thanks Dani… you couldn’t have said it better. I rather be strong and a little bigger then skinny and fat!!
[...] Maybe It’s Not Your Jeans; Its Your Perspective (Hat tip Affiliate Blog) [...]
It makes me so happy to read all of these responses. And I love that some of the men in our community are experiencing the same challenges.
Perhaps this is a business opportunity for a new clothing line.
Hope everyone has a beautiful day!
And Moe, happy happy birthday my friend. You handled the kids today like a champ. Hope that there is birthday cake or some sweet treat in your near future.
Dang it’s Moses’ b-day…happy b-day man! Do zombies celebrate re-animation days?
Great post, Dani! This one definitely hits home for me. I definitely feel stronger with a few more lbs packed on. My favorite line in your article is: “My body had changed and rather than
fight it I needed to embrace it and adapt. So I did.” That is powerful. Other nuggets of wisdom that you always pass along are the ideas of balance and moderation. We are all striving for excellence in our pursuits in Crossfit, but it is healthy to have a balanced, realistic perspective. Dani, your words often help me see the forest for the trees! Love you, girl!
Great article-have dealt with this my whole life and used to hate my muscular thighs. Now they sure give me the power I need and want and I accept them love them.
Try lucky jeans–do still need a little alteration.
Love the post! This morning I put on my cute little cap sleeve shirt that I bought a few weeks back. I could barely get my arms in! Fit better everywhere else, but I have recently discovered that I have triceps! YEA! Anyway, didn’t bother me in the least, it was just affirmation that the pull-ups, dips and push-ups are doing what they are supposed to. I still wore the shirt, they have buttons on the end of the sleeve, still a little tight@
Great post Dani!!
Personally, I find women with bigger legs and boote’s more attractive anyway. I would say that I speak for most men I know. Healthy is always attractive, and skinny is not always healthy.
Dani,
Good on ya! Marvelous post and very inspirational sentiment. “Lovely Daughter” gets to read this tomorrow as part of our Dad/Daughter conversations about strong women.
Thanks for helping make my Dad job easier.
–bingo
I ran across your blog while cruising the CF affiliate page today. Loved it! I’ve considered myself an athlete my whole life, but it wasn’t until CF that I finally started to realize that strong athletes are not necessarily super skinny. I’m slowly but surely embracing my soccer player, crossfitting thighs and the fact my 5′8 athletic frame is not meant to be a size 2! Thanks for the words of wisdom!
Love the article! I’m 5′ 0″ and when I started crossfitting the same thing happened to my body. I’ve sent the article to some of the other ladies that Crossfit here in Boston. By the way, from my perspective, you look great in the photo above & not only are you doing a great pullup, you’ve master the “chest to bar”, which I am currently attempting to conquer!
Dani-
Being able to relate to every woman (because we have all had to buy new jeans) is nearly impossible. However, you manage to not only relate but be encouraging at the same time. One of the many reasons why you are such a great coach! Fantastic post!!!
[...] Take a look at this article on CrossFit Invictus’s blog, she talks about adapting to your new lifestyle as a CrossFitter and taking a different perspective on everything. Even your clothes. Maybe It’s Not Your Jeans; It’s Your Perspective. [...]
Great article. Crossfit Booty is something that I think most of us gals struggle with when it comes to jeans shopping., but I have a gun to bring to the battle! Don’t laugh, but I buy super low-rise jeans from junior retailers that are 2% spandex. The low rise negates the small waist issue, and the 2% spandex (not glam rock spandex) gives you mobility and a better fit. I was embarrassed the first time I delved into the land of pink lip gloss and bad pop music, but junior retailers have been my saving grace in the Crossfit booty- jeans ordeal.
I’ve been Xfitting since October and since then I’ve gotten leaner and more muscular in my upper body and my legs. It’s only been in the last month that I’ve noticed a change in the fit of my pants, jeans and shorts. They are tighter in the thigh and hip areas than just a month ago, but until I read your post, it didn’t really register why. I’ve lost about 25 lbs. of fat since January, 2008 and gained about 10 lbs. of muscle (as of the end of April, 2009.) And during that time, I dropped three pants sizes. But now, the drop has stopped and may just be swinging the other direction. I’m not complaining because I know it’s because of a healthy gain of muscle which I’ve worked really hard to get!
[...] Read about Body Image [...]
Well said! Brava, Brava!!
Sick old ladies with zero muscle tone have flat booties and can fit into size zero jeans.
Ripe, juicy, muscular, healthy hot crossfit goddesses have glorious back sides. We have high hard booties with a dent at the side. Lucky are the jeans that fit us. When someone takes a look at a crossfit hiney, they bow before it.
who wants to wear sick girl, flat-ass, skinny-fat size 00 jeans? ugh. I threw all of mine out two years ago. Those were the uniform of the dehabilitated sheep. flat butt jeans are loathesome. toothpick arms and shoulders are as well.
try on a pair of plastic by gly. and, i agree on the “tween” store shopping for jeans. just ignore the “Twilight” logo t-shirts as you shop…
Strong Sisters Unite!
Dani, posted on my site. Let me know if that’s cool. Great essay.
-Dan CrossFit Woodbridge
Spider Chick, you are hilarious and I couldn’t agree more.
Dan, I would love for you to post the blog on your site. Spread the word!
Many thanks to you for writing this article.
Only after discovering Crossfit have I come to realize that the “skinny fat” I once considered beautiful and always longed to be… well, that’s just insanity!!
It’s like you said Dani… all in your perspective.
Strength is where real beauty lies!!
[...] A Reporter Gets a Dose Ryan P.’s got some good rest day articles. Alli’s making jerky. You’ve earned that bigger booty, celebrate! [...]
Dani,
I finally read your blog! It definately made me glad I have the booty AND to appreciate all you’ve done for me in the past months!
[...] Crossfit Invictus This entry was written by Mrs.B, posted on June 2, 2009 at 7:06 pm, filed under Blog Posts. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL. « Front Squat / Thruster/ Burpee [...]
[...] Dani Dufrene of CrossFit invictus gives her perspective. [...]
I like that article. Huge closet purge here also. The small sizes no longer cut it. I also ditched a lot of beautiful, but not so comfortable shoes with heels. I’ve never obsessed over how my physique looks, but want to be continue to be strong throughout my older years.
[...] Take a look at this article on CrossFit Invictus’s blog, she talks about adapting to your new lifestyle as a CrossFitter and taking a different perspective on everything. Even your clothes. Maybe It’s Not Your Jeans; It’s Your Perspective. [...]
Hey Dani, I just wrote about something similar… I’m 4′11 and use to weight 95lbs, i started doing crossfit to help with my MMA training i needed to be bigger and stronger then all the women i was competing against!
I have been doing crossfit 4x’s a week and lifting 3x’s a week plus all my other training I do…
I had to go out and buy an entirely new summer wardrobe… and although i tried a few things on and made sure i got the size that can at least fit over my legs and ass it was huge in the waist. THEN i go to wear some of the summer things and out of 7 pairs of new shorts/capris i got i had to give away a pair of shorts, another pair split in the legs… and needs to try and be fixed or thrown out, and another pair are really tight in the legs… ALL of them a size 5… when i went for my first pair of jeans in the winter i use to be a double 0… and then a 3 for the longest time and now i’m a 5? FOR someone my size the weight i’ve gained is really noticeable.. and its not 7lbs like you.. i gained 20lbs over 7 months or so… I’ve learned to embrace it however.. like every women every so often you come across those people who think you look like a butch man, or “fat” or something.. its irritating…
looking forward to reading more of your stuff
Christina
searstina@hotmail.com
FABULOUS post! i, in fact, lose weight when i stop working out … drum roll please … it is all muscle that i am losing and primarily in the upper body where women lose it fastest due to age.
for those power houses out there that have junk in the trunk, i.e. a booty to provide power … try jeans that are filed under curvy. yep this totally freaked me out when i first tried it because in general that meant to me big hips, lateral curves … which i do not have. Like many of you my shoulders are broader than my hips. however, the curvy fit can me anterior-posterior too, i.e. encompassing butt curves not just hip curves.
[...] Whats your perspective? [...]
I needed to read what you wrote……That is something that i struggle with on a regular basis. you are right…I have to change my perspective. Great post!!
I needed to read what you wrote……That is something that i struggle with on a regular basis. you are right…I have to change my perspective. Great post!!
Amen to this post!
I’m my own worst critic and lately have been brutal. Added a TON of prisioner squats, weighted lunges…lots of leg stuff. What happened? My thighs are wider but toned and my booty is fuller which makes my FAVORITE jeans..um tight? VERY TIGHT!
Time to embrace what I have created and be thankful for the muscle.
Great post!